Paris, Tony exit ‘So You Think You Can Dance’

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This is going to be short, dear readers, since last night’s “So You Think You Can Dance” results show was a night of practically zero surprises and entirely minor revelations. The best thing about it was the Shane Sparks group number that opened the show, which, after multiple viewings, I’ve decided was about mystical urban dance fairies led by an unconvincingly crazy-eyed Queen Caitlin, who has directed her hard-edged hip-hopping fairy underlings to blow their magic dancing dust upon the city’s downtrodden and homeless and turn them into more hard-edged hip-hopping fairy underlings, one of whom danced so hard-edged, he apparently danced himself to death and had to be covered with a black sheet that caused him to kinda levitate off the ground. Or something.